We live in a world where there is a perennial cry for better
WLB. This is sometimes presented as a
goal that can be achieved and then you can move onto the next task... However, as with most tricky things in life,
it is not an easy as it at first appears. Turning to the dictionary, the word ‘balance’
is both a noun and verb and both are worth exploring further.
‘Balance’ as a noun is a destination word, a ‘thing’, and is
defined as ‘an even distribution of
weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady’. When most of us consider the goal of
achieving better WLB, I suspect that this is not what we have in mind! Although, it is admirable to display these
qualities on occasions.
‘Balance’, as a verb, fits more appropriately in the context
of living. One of the most useful
dictionary definitions is: ‘Keep or put
something in a steady position so that it does not fall’. You may recall from grammar lessons, or picked
up learning along the way that, a verb is a ‘doing’ word and this is the
concept that I believe it is most helpful to hold onto. To achieve balance requires constant
readjustment to the dynamic nature of the world and our lives within it.
We go through different stages in our life and, indeed, with
our jobs or families or other responsibilities where we have changing pressures
that mean we devote varying amounts of time to them. This requires conscious thought and effort on
our part so that we place our attention on those aspects of our lives that
matter most to us or require more inputs (perhaps just for a short period). Activities, like completing a ‘Wheel of Life’
(see image and guidance below), in which we plot where we spend our time are
useful feedback points for us and can jolt us into action to focus on those
parts of our lives where we are simply not spending enough time.
Wheel of Life
To complete the wheel of life you simply allocate a score (from
0-10) to the different headings and see your distribution and where there are
low scores. You can then determine
whether you would want to make any changes.
This tool also allows you to place a focus on the future and consider
the changes you might make to the different areas and thus set goals to make
some changes.
The ‘Wheel of Life’ is a useful tool that coaches use with
clients, sometimes at the outset of a coaching relationship to assess the
balanced nature (or otherwise) of a client’s life. However, it should not be viewed in a fixed
way. As we know, balance is a ‘doing’
word and that means we should be active in our processing of where we spend our
time. The pressures within the wider
world through the ‘always connected’ use of technology and the insecurities of
our working life and the growth of the ‘gig’ economy often places a greater
focus on our need to spend more time on work.
It is important to tune into this pressure and consciously consider what
you want to do with your time. It’s not
easy to strive for balance but it is worth it. I have set out below six ideas to consider for
achieving balance. These ideas emerge
both my studies and my work with coaching clients and from good practice in
this field:
1.
Be consciously aware of where you spend your
time and judge whether you are happy with this allocation. Using the Wheel of Life may be a useful
starting point in this respect, and enables you to look at where you are and
where you would like to be with your WLB and allows you to keep both under
review.
2.
Consider the ‘doing’ nature of balance, and the
need to adjust to stay in balance. One
useful visual of constant readjustment, that can appear effortless, is a red
kite (or similar large bird), in flight.
To soar in this way, a red kite needs to ‘read’ the thermals and adjust. It is ironic that to appear effortless requires
a lot of effort!
3.
Know your patterns and where you spend your time
automatically. It may be that you have a
message from childhood that you constantly try to live up to of ‘work harder
and provide for others’. This is
important, but so is finding joy in family times and having space to think and
reflect, as well as simply relaxing.
4.
Take control of how you allocate your time. Put structure into your calendar that
allocates balance for you. If you can,
manage your own diary and consciously build time into those parts of your life
that you wish to extend.
5.
Review and reflect regularly on whether you are
happy with your life and the balance within it.
This requires insight and self-awareness into what is important for you
both now and into the future. Rather
than make a radical shift that can be de-stabilising, make small adjustments
along the way. We are constantly
changing (through ageing and hopefully growing in wisdom) and it makes sense
that we reflect that in the way we live our lives.
6.
Not wanting to sound too fatalistic, but for
each of us life will come to an end. As
depressing as this thought may be, it can also be one that improves the quality
of our living. Reminding ourselves that
we live our lives day-by-day can spur us into action to improve our WLB. How we spend our time shapes who we are and
it pays for us to consider whether we are content with who we are now in the
world and where we spend our time.
Margaret Walsh is a
registered member of the British Association of Counselling &
Psychotherapy, a Member of the Association of Coaching and a Fellow of the
Chartered Institute of Personnel & Development. She works with individuals and groups using a
mixture of coaching and psychotherapy to help deepen self-awareness from which
to bring about change. She works
face-to-face as well as by Skype and telephone and can be contacted on
margaretwalshcoach@gmail.com
